Wednesday, January 15, 2014

If only I was brave enough!

It was a lazy Saturday morning when I first saw her. A small beautiful thing, she touched my heart as soon as I saw her. She was not extraordinarily gorgeous but was beautiful indeed and surely very, very hungry as she ate a plate full of rice without stopping. Seeing her eat and lap up the water I gave her was a pleasure. I felt maybe I had found a small playmate for myself at this age, after all. However, my pleasure and happiness, like everything else, didn't last long.
Every morning before I went to office, I would feed her and every evening, when I returned back, she could come to our gate to receive me with curiosity and happiness. I could feel her excitement as she would come to me running hoping I would treat her with something different today. However, there wasn't much to give to her except different varieties of biscuits. It was a pleasure seeing her live such a carefree life. Eat, play and sleep. That was all she did and that was all she was required to do. She seemed happy and I was happy for her. I used to call her Chotu, until I realized her sex. So, I had just changed her name to Choti. Everything was fine for a week or so, until she did something that upset my landlady.
According to my landlady, she climbed up to her puja room on the third floor and messed it up. So this cold winter morning, my Choti had finished her meal and was comfortably sleeping under the warmth of the sun when the landlady came with a thick stick and starting beating her. Poor Choti cried so hard that made me jump. I heard her cry close to my room so I went towards my room to try to see her from there. But I couldn't see her. All I could hear was her cry for help, probably pleading me to come out and save her. When I finally got the courage to save her, I went outside. Only to see that the landlady was still waiting close to the open gate with a big stick on her hand to chase Choti out of there. As soon as the lady saw me, she started complaining about what Choti did. Her daughter-in-law added to it but all this time when they were complaining to me, my mind was thinking about Choti and how she must have felt. I went to see her and found her hiding in a corner where the landlady, probably fearing that Choti might attack, did not seem to go.
As soon as Choti saw me standing at the entrance, she started wagging her tail, as if to saw she was pleased to see me and that she trusted me to protect her. I signaled and she came running to me. She started to get all over my feet as if she was on the safest place on earth. I, however, did not know how to save her. I could not muster up the courage to fight for her. She was, after all, unpredictable and I could not assure our landlady that she would not cause any mess in any of her rooms anymore. With a heavy heart, I lifted her up and put her on the other side of the wall. She kept looking at me and all I could do was stare back at her with sad eyes and tousle her short furry body. I whispered her to run away and find a safe place somewhere. She was shivering in cold and I could not even provide her warmth. What right did I have to keep a pet if I couldn't even protect her?
As if sensing my sadness and understanding my word, my Choti ran away from me, the house and the landlady, who had now come closer to where Choti was. She went towards the back gate of the house and looked at me. At that moment, I felt I heard my heart break into pieces as I saw my Choti looking at me with sad eyes. I felt she was saying her final goodbye to me and then, just as she had come, she went away.