Long before we are born, our parents have their mind set on what we need to do and how we should behave depending upon what we are (male or female child). It is only after they plan out our future for next five to ten years that the parents actually think about bringing us into this world. They expect us to fulfill their dreams, behave accordingly throughout our lives and do what they always dreamed but never got around to do. It's like they want to fill that void through us, they want us to have the life that they could not, which is good but only when we want to live that way.
What if our dreams are different then theirs? What if we want different things from life? What if we don't want to live the way our parents wants us to live?
Then there comes ideological clashes and other issues that might result in ruining the heavenly relation of parents and offspring unless one of them backs off. But its not always the parents who expect us to do things. It is understandable for parents wanting their kids to have the life they dreamed of but never had because they want their kids to be happy. And they surprisingly believe that kind of life will make their children happy and satisfied.
But its not just the parents who expect things from us. The list is too big!
Since the moment we are brought into this world, we are expected to do things. As soon as we are born, we are expected to cry or even laugh, show some kind of signal that indicates we are alive and normal. Hence, begins the series of great expectations.
When we start growing up, our parents expect us to learn to speak good things, walk, run, etc. In short, they expect us to behave as a normal and healthy child. When we join school, the teachers expect us to be disciplined and hard working. We are expected to know all the alphabets by heart. It doesn't matter if we are two and half years old or five, we need to learn all of it along with new words formed by the letter. I am sure you all realize how hard it was for you to learn A for Apple and
Kapuri Ka for the first time. Moreover, they expect us to be able to write them down on our own rather than copying from the books. Of course they teach us to do so for a whole year, but what they forget is that, not all of us have the same memory power or talent that helps us learn things faster.
As soon as we pass through Nursery or LKG, we are expected to learn more and more subjects that include English, Nepali, Maths and Science. Even before we learn to pronounce these words, we are expected to carry those heavy books and learn everything, solve every questions that are inside the book on our own. What I don't understand is why does these children have to carry those books when you can simply give them worksheets and ask them to carry it in a file, just the ones that are needed? Why carry all those books in a bag that are larger than the children themselves when you have other simpler options?
When we start making friends, our friends, too, start expecting things from us. They expect us to help them in whatever they are doing, understand their situation and keep their secrets safe with us, share our lunch with them and help them do their homework. Sometimes, they even expect us to do all their homework for them while they enjoy the latest video games or watch their favorite cartoon show. They expect us to help them pass exams, meet their girlfriend/boyfriends, buy gifts for them, loan them money when they run out of their pocket money, take them out on lunch just because they feel like eating something at the nearby restaurant/food stalls. But above all, they expect us to stand by their side whenever they need us, whether it is after a difficult breakup, fight with their parents, fight with the neighboring kids, shopping, bunking classes or losing someone. They expect us to be there for everything, whether they are doing something good or bad.
It is a great responsibility and for someone like me, who don't know how to handle many situations like that, it is pretty difficult to meet their expectations.
When we get into relationship, more expectations come our way. We are expected to be loving, caring and understanding towards them and their feelings. We are expected to call them at least twice a day (as soon as we wake up and just before we go to sleep). It is sort of compulsion and it is expected of your partner to call you at least twice and text you as many times as you can count. You are expected to behave, that is, you are expected not to flirt with others, tease others, make them feel alone or even jealous. You are expected to give your full attention to them when they are talking even if they are talking about something you have no interest in or something you know nothing about. You are expected to keep them happy and make them feel special and loved all the time. You are expected to make their family happy and comfortable around you so they could bond with you. And when you get married, the expectation increases.
With every passing phase of life, expectations of others increases. Your parents expect you to behave in one way, your friends expect you to behave in someway and your partner or spouse expect you to behave in some other way. There are always the expectation of your parents and your spouse's parents and later in life, your children's expectations. Even at your office, your boss expects something from you. They expect you to work well and finish as many work as you can. However, they never expect you to ask for raise in salary or ask for an early leave today because there is something important you need to do outside office. When you enter your office gate, your boss expect you to become a robot who could be controlled and who could work twice as hard and fast as a normal human being.
The series of expectations never ends, even after death. Because even after you die, your offspring might expect you to leave a huge among of money and property behind for them to enjoy. Seriously, throughout the life, you live for others and they never realize the value of it.
When you are old and grey, one day, you would sit back and reflect upon your life, the life you wanted and the life you lived. There will be certain difference between how you wanted to live and how you lived, but it is up to you to decide which one to make better. Do you want the life you dreamed to be better than the life you lived? or do you want to live a better life than the one your dreamed? The decision is yours and with every passing minute, you will be losing one precious moment of the life you want which will bring smile on your face when you will think about it many years from now.
Someone always tells me, don't live for others, live for yourself and now I think he is right. Living up to meet other's expectations and dreams could never make me happy because no matter what I do, I could never satisfy everyone. The most important thing is for me to be satisfied with the life I live and I guess I am learning to appreciate my life with all its rights and wrongs. It doesn't matter where I live or how I live or if I meet other's expectations, at the end of the day, all that matters is the smile that comes to my lips and the satisfaction that warms my heart while I think about how I cherished my life and how happy I am.
