The coverage of menstruation in national dailies today is a
little different compared to other days since today being Menstrual Hygiene Day,
the write ups are more like features rather than news on deaths as a result of
staying in menstrual hut. Although this is a respite, the discussions on
existence and continuation of taboos and stigma are no less frustrating.
My Facebook page is no different with my female friends
sharing information about awareness on menstrual health and hygiene and how we
should break the taboo or how menstruation is special and should be treated
like that. Even though I agree that the taboo and stigma attached with
menstruation should be ended, I am not so sure about calling it special. It is
natural, biological and yes it is normal and I strongly believe that it should
be left at being just that. NORMAL. Anything else might get us back to fighting
again just under a different circumstance (I will get to this part later).
The restrictions that are imposed may vary across person, family,
ethnicity, religion and place although some sort of restrictions may seem to be
present in all, for instance, restriction on cooking and/or communal dining or participating in religious rituals. I,
for one, am no exception and have been living under most of these restrictions
(refraining from cooking, sitting together on the dining table with entire family,
going to a temple and participating in religious events) since the day I first
bled. However, there are times when I have breached a majority of these restrictions, unfortunately without the knowledge of most of my family members at the time. I did, however, tell them about some of these breaches which the elder generation did not approve.
Born and raised in a traditional Bahun family, I have experienced living in isolation for over a week during my first menstruation to not being allowed into the kitchen and puja room (the later two lasts until today). The family I am married to is no different when it comes to following these 'traditions' and both my families take pride in preserving and practicing our 'sanskar'. Although I do not believe in the consequences that may result from not following menstrual taboos, I oblige by them, like most of my female counterparts, to avoid the conflict in the family.
Over the years, the breaches I had made assured me that there are no serious or evil consequences that befalls on my family if I do not obey the 'rules of menstruation' and yet I fail, time and again, to convince my family of leaving behind these age old practices. I fall flat in even convincing myself to break a couple of these restrictions which involves the worship of the unseen, the ancestors and the gods. Even though I have entered a temple whilst I bled, I have never been to a puja or an ancestral ritual. There is the years of teaching that my subconscious mind have registered so well that it pulls back my hand when I move forward to touch the 'god'.
When it comes to menstruation and its rules, most logic do not seem to play. I do not get answers for why I cannot do this or that, rather my queries are brushed aside in the name of practiced tradition or what we call chaliaaeko parampara. At times when it takes a while for me to convince myself of doing something or breaking one rule or another, it is no way possible for me to expect others to leave the practice behind. It will take time, a long time indeed and we have to be patient with them. One thing that I have learned in past few years is that sometimes quietly disobeying is far better and effective than arguing, however, that does not mean we should stop speaking up for ourselves or putting forth our ideas. It is just that we should learn when to speak up and when to stay quiet but not give-in.
Coming back to the idea of whether menstruation should be left at being normal or should be celebrated for being special, I strongly believe leaving it normal could be a better choice, considering it special or celebrating it may risk bringing it back into the discussion of sacred and profane, pure and impure that we have spent years fighting against though the position may be different. But would not it be better if menstruation was just a natural process, nothing more, nothing less?
