Whose fault is it!

Is it the fault of the one who tortures or the one who tolerates it silently? Who is at fault? Human beings are abusers of power, it is a well known fact that we have learned through the centuries of experiences. However, we have also realized that the abusers can only be tamed and controlled if the people being abused take a stand. It is the way in which many tyrant leaders were abolished from power not only around the world but also in our own country. It was the way we removed Rana rule from our country as well as the century old Shah rule (although it doesn’t seem like a good idea seeing the present state of the country). But this is not what I wanted to write about.

I am intrigued by the idea of domestic violence. When man beats a woman for no reason at all (at least I can’t think of anything resulting in such harsh physical torture). Do these abusers have psychological condition? Or do they just do it because they want to feel superior? Whatever be the reason, for me at least, these people suffer from extreme psychological condition which makes them believe they have the power to torture others. I have heard of many cases as such. I have been witness to few, although I have not seen them with my eyes, hearing a man beat and a woman cry is enough evidence all right. Each time I heard it, a sense of fear and hatred grew in me. It got stronger with every slap or hit I heard. Did the man want to make the woman fear him? If so why? What is the point of making someone fear and hate you?  I have never understood the need of being so violent on someone for reasons I could never think of. You could always try discussing the problem. I don’t think there is any problem in the world which can’t be solved with discussion and understanding because most of them are caused by misunderstandings. I have never understood the intention and need that the abuser have. Maybe I could understand if I was to talk to them but, hell, I might end up hitting them on their faces!

However, the more intriguing part is why does the woman stay quiet about it all? Why doesn’t she take a stand? It is a well known fact that domestic violence is a crime which may result in jail sentence or penalty when proven guilty then why not file a case? Why not take a stand to protect yourself from the crime? Don’t you think rather than the abuser, the people suffering are more at fault in such cases? If you take up stand, then they will gradually stop doing so or maybe few nights at jail might calm their nerves. Maybe the reason for this is the dependence of females over males. If a woman is independent, she also becomes confident and is capable of looking after herself, however, in our country, most of the women are dependent over men, hence, the direct prey of their abuse.

Does she stay because she loves him and believes he will actually change someday? If so, she could only be a fool. Gone are the days when such things were proved to be true. These days, people usually take out their work or other frustrations on someone ‘weaker’ they have at home. Rather than being the love of their life, you are more like a tool to play with. Take up stand ladies and protect yourself because in this selfish world, there is no one who will do it for you. Even the people in your family stays behind and watch it rather than talk sense into that monster you call your love or whatever.

I wonder when such cases are going to end and when we will truly have ‘peace at home’. But for now, I really can’t figure out ‘who is at fault?’