मलाई एउटा श्रीमती चाहियो

म त्यो वर्गमा पर्छु जसलाई श्रीमती भनिन्छ | म एउटी श्रीमती हुँ | र, संयोगवस् होइन, म एउटी आमा हुँ |

हालसालै मेरो एक पुरुष साथी भेट भयो जसको भर्खरै डिभोर्स भएको छ | उनको एउटा बच्चा थियो जो पक्कै उनकी पूर्वश्रीमती सँग छ | उनी स्वाभाविकै अर्की श्रीमतीको खोजीमा छन् | एक साँझ आइरन गरिरहेको बेला उनलाई सम्झिए र अचानक मेरो पनि एउटा श्रीमती भए हुन्थियो भन्ने मलाई लाग्यो | मलाई किन श्रीमती चाहियो?

म फेरी स्कूल जान चाहन्छु जसले गर्दा म आर्थिक रुपमा आत्मनिर्भर भई, आफू र परेको खण्डमा आफूमाथि निर्भर हुनेहरुलाई हेर्न सकूँ | मलाई यस्ती श्रीमती चाहिएको छ जसले कमाएर मलाई स्कूल पाठाओस् | र जब म स्कूल जान थाल्छु, मेरी श्रीमतीले मेरो छोराछोरीको हेरचाह गरोस् | मलाई एउटी श्रीमती चाहिएको छ जसले बच्चाहरुलाई डाक्टर र डेन्टिस्टकोमा लाने समयको ख्याल राखोस् अनि, मेरो पनि | मलाई एउटी श्रीमती चाहिएको छ जसले मेरा छोराछोरीहरुको खानपिन र सरसफाईको ध्यान राखोस् | मलाई एउटी श्रीमती चाहिएको छ जसले छोराछोरीको लुगा धोएर राम्ररी राखोस् | मलाई एउटी श्रीमती चाहिएको छ जसले मेरो छोराछोरीको राम्रो पालनपोषण गरोस्, उनीहरुको स्कूल जाने व्यवस्था, उनीहरुको साथीभाईहरुसंग सामाजिक जीवनको व्यवस्था, उनीहरुलाई पार्क, चिडियाखाना लैजाने गरोस् | मलाई एउटी श्रीमती चाहिएको छ जसले बच्चाहरु बिरामी हुँदा उनीहरुको हेरचाह गरोस्, एउटी श्रीमती जसले बच्चाहरुलाई विशेष हेरचाह चाहिएको बेला उनीहरु सँगै हुने व्यवस्था मिलाओस् किनभने मैले स्कूलमा क्लास छोड्न मिल्दैन नि | मेरी श्रीमतीले आफ्नो जागिर नगुमाई केहि समय बिदा बस्ने छोड्न सक्ने व्यवस्था मिलाउनु पर्छ | त्यसले मेरी श्रीमतीको कमाईमा बेलाबेलामा केहि कटौती होला तर म त्यति सहन सक्छु जस्तो लाग्छ | भनिरहनु नपर्ला कि मेरी श्रीमतीले आफू काम गर्न जाँदा बच्चाहरुको रेखदेखको व्यवस्था र खर्च मिलाउने छ |

मलाई एउटी श्रीमती चाहिएको छ जसले मेरो शारीरिक आवश्यकताहरुको ध्यान राखोस् | मलाई एउटी  श्रीमती चाहिएको छ जसले मेरो घर सफा राखोस् | एउटी श्रीमती जसले मैले जथाभावी छोडेका कुराहरु ठेगानमा राखोस् | मलाई एउटी श्रीमती चाहिएको छ जसले मेरो लुगाहरु सफा, आईरन गरेर, मिलाएर, परेको खण्डमा बदलेर राखोस् र जसले मेरो सबै व्यक्तिगत समानहरु तिनीहरुको यथास्थानमा रखिदियोस् जसले गर्दा मलाई चाहिने कुरा चाहिने बित्तिकै मैले भेटौँ | मलाई श्रीमती चाहिएको छ जसले खाना पकाओस्, एउटी श्रीमती जो राम्रो कुक होस् | मलाई एउटी श्रीमती चाहिएको छ जसले खानको मेन्यु बनाओस्, चाहिने सरसमान किनोस्, खान तयार गरोस्, खुशीसाथ पस्कियोस् र त्यसपछि सफाई गरोस् त्यतिबेला म पढ्न बस्नेछु | मलाई एउटी श्रीमती चाहिएको छ  जसले म बिरामी हुँदा मेरो हेरचाह गरोस् र मेरो पीडा र स्कुलको छुटेको समयप्रति सहानुभूति राखोस् | मलाई एउटी श्रीमती चाहिएको छ जो हाम्रो पारिवारले छुट्टी मनाउदा सँगै जाओस् जसले गर्दा मलाई आराम र ठाँऊ परिवर्तन चाहिएको बेला कसैले मेरो र मेरो बच्चाहरुको निरन्तर हेरचाह गर्न सकोस् |

मलाई एउटी श्रीमती चाहिएको छ जसले मलाई श्रीमतीको कर्तव्यबारे गनगन गरेर दिक्क नलगाओस् | तर मलाई एउटी श्रीमती चाहिएको छ जसले मेरो पढाईको क्रममा मैले अनुभव गरेको गाह्रो कुरा व्यक्त गर्न मन लागेको बेला मेरो कुरा सुनोस् | मलाई एउटी श्रीमती चाहिएको छ जसले मैले लेखिसकेपछि मेरा पेपरहरु मेरा लागी टाईप गरोस् |

मलाई एउटी श्रीमती चाहिएको छ जसले मेरो सामाजिक जीवनको ध्यान राखोस् | जब म र मेरी श्रीमती मेरो साथीहरुद्वारा बाहिर आमन्त्रित हुन्छौँ, म चाहन्छु एउटी श्रीमती जसले बच्चाहरुलाई हेर्ने मान्छेको व्यवस्था गरोस् | जब म स्कूलमा मलाई मान्न पर्ने मान्छेहरु भेट्छु र उनीहरुलाई मनोरन्जन गराउन चाहन्छु, म चाहन्छु एउटी श्रीमती जसले घर सफा राखोस्, विशेष परिकार बनाओस्, म र मेरो साथीहरुलाई पस्कियोस् र मेरो र मेरो साथीहरुको रुचिको विषयहरुमा मैले कुरा गर्दा मलाई बीचमा नरोकोस् | मलाई एउटी श्रीमती चाहिएको छ जसले बच्चाहरुलाई मेरो पाहुना आउनु अगाडी नै ख्वाईओरी सुताओस् जसले गर्दा बच्चाहरुले हामीलाई दुख नदिउन् |

र मलाई एउटी श्रीमती चाहिएको छ जसलाई थाहा होस् कि कहिलेकाहीं मलाई एक्लै एक रात बाहिर बस्न पनि आवश्यक छ |  

मलाई एउटी श्रीमती चाहिएको छ जो मेरो यौन आवश्यकता प्रति संवेदनशील होस्, एउटी श्रीमती जसले मलाई मन लागेको बेला जोश र उत्सुकताका साथ मलाई माया गरोस्, एउटी श्रीमती जसले मलाई सन्तुष्ट बनाओस् | र स्वाभाविकै, मलाई एउटी श्रीमती चाहिएको छ जसले मेरो मुड नभएको बेला मसँग शारीरिक सम्बन्धको माग नराखोस् | मलाई एउटी श्रीमती चाहिएको छ जसले गर्भ निरोध सम्बन्धी सम्पूर्ण जिम्मेवारी लियोस् किनभने मलाई धेरै बच्चाहरु चाहिन्दैन | मलाई एउटी श्रीमती चाहिएको छ जो मसँग यौनिक रुपमा इमान्दार रहोस् जसले गर्दा मैले मेरो बौद्धिक जीवनलाई इर्ष्याले अव्यवस्थित गर्नु नपरोस् | र मलाई एउटी श्रीमती चाहिएको छ जसले यो बुझोस् कि मेरो यौन आवश्यकताहरु एकपत्नी नियमको कडा पालना भन्दा अलि बाहिर जान्छ | म, जे भएपनि, मान्छेहरुसँग सक्दो सम्पूर्ण रुपमा घुलमिल हुन सक्नुपर्छ |

यदि, सम्भवत, मैले अर्को मान्छे, जो मेरी श्रीमती हुन मेरी अहिलेकि श्रीमती भन्दा अझै लायककि छ, भेट्टाएँ भने मेरी अहिलेकि श्रीमतीलाई अर्की सँग बदलिने म स्वतन्त्रता चाहन्छु | स्वाभाविकै म एउटा नयाँ जीवनको अपेक्षा राख्छु; मेरी श्रीमतीले छोराछोरी लगोस् र उनीहरुकोलागी नितांत एकलै जिम्मेवार होस् ताकी म स्वतन्त्र रहन सकूँ |

जब म स्कूल सकेर जागिर खान थाल्छु, म चाहन्छु कि मेरी श्रीमतीले काम छोडेर घरमै बसोस् जसले गर्दा मेरी श्रीमतीले अझै पूर्ण र सम्पूर्ण रुपमा एउटी श्रीमतीको कर्तव्य पुरा गर्न सकोस् |

हे भगवान्, श्रीमती कसलाई चाहिन्दैन होला?

प्रस्तुत लेख सन् १९७१ को निऊ योर्क पत्रिकामा प्रकाशित जुडी (साईफर्स) ब्राडीको "आई वान्ट अ वाईफ' को अनौपचारिक अनुवाद हो | ४९ वर्षपछि पनि उत्तिकै सान्दर्भिक महसुस भएकोले यसको अनुवाद गरेको हुँ | हामीले वास्तवमै कति परिवर्तन ल्याएछौँ भन्ने कुरा यो लेख पढेर मनन् गर्नुहोला | 

To read original article in English, go to: 

https://www.thecut.com/2017/11/i-want-a-wife-by-judy-brady-syfers-new-york-mag-1971.html

म छोरा भएको भए

आमा, तिमी कति महान तर म कति तुच्छ

आमा, तिमीलाई म सधै गाह्रो पर्दा खोज्छु, तिमीसंग बोल्दा मन हलुङ्गो हुन्छ 

तर आमा तिम्रो जीवन सम्झिंदा मेरो मन रुन्छ

आफ्नो जन्मप्रति अत्यार लाग्छ

आमा, म नभएको भए सायद तिमी पनि खुलेर बाच्ने थियौ

आफ्ना सपना, चाहना सबै पुरा गर्ने थियौ

तर मैले तिमीसँग त्यो सबै अधिकार खोसे

तिमीलाई बलिदानको उदाहरण बन्न बाध्य बनाए

तिमी आमा हुँदिन थियौ त तिमी देवी हुँदिन थियौ

तिमी पनि आम मान्छे सरह आफ्नो जीवन आफ्नो तरिकाले बाँच्ने थियौ

म तिम्रो गर्भमा आएदेखि नै तिमीलाई मैले त्यागको अथाह भवसागरमा धकेंले आमा

त्यहि दिनदेखि तिमीले आफ्नो सबै पहिचान छोडेर मेरा लागी बाँच्न थाल्यौ

तिमीलाई आफ्नो काम छोड्न बाध्य बनाइयो

मेरो हुर्काई तिमीबिना हुँदैन भनेर तिमीलाई सबै कुरा बिर्सेर मैमाथि आफ्नो सर्वस्व केन्द्रित गर्न बाध्य बनाइयो

मेरा लागी तिमीलाई आफ्नो लक्ष्य त्याग्न बाध्य बनाइयो

आमा, तिमीले मेरा लागी गरेका सबै कुराले तिमीले मलाई नतिरीसक्नु ऋण लगायौ भनेर तिमीलाई सानो बनाउँदिन

तर तिमीसँग तिम्रो सपना, लक्ष्य, चाहना, जीवन सबै खोसेकोमा म आफुलाई कहिल्यै माफ गर्न सक्दिन

आमा, तिमीलाई देवी बनाए तर आमा तिम्रो अंश भएर पनि म पापी भए

यो पापको प्रायश्चित म कसरी गरूँ

तिम्रो सपना, इच्छा र जीवन खोसेर लागेको पाप म कसरी पखालुँ

आमा, म छोरा भएको भए सायद मैले तिमीलाई बैतरणी तारेर यो पाप पखाल्थें

तिम्रो पृथ्वीलोक पछिको जीवन सुनिश्चित गरी तिमीलाई मुक्ति दिलाउँथे

तर आमा म छोरीलाई त्यो अधिकार पनि छैन

सायद मैले गरेको पापकै कारणले हो आमा मैले पनि तिमी जस्तै त्याग र बलिदानको उदाहरण बनिदिनुपर्ने

तिमीले गरेजस्तै आफ्नो सपना, इच्छा र लक्ष्यको घाँटी रेट्नुपर्ने

आफुलाई बिर्सेर आफ्नो सन्तानमा हराउनु पर्ने

सायद छोरीले गर्न सक्ने प्रायश्चित यहि नै हो आमा

तर आमा म जुन प्रायश्चितको आगोमा जल्दैछु म फेरी आफ्नो सन्तानलाई त्यहि आगोमा कसरी होम्नु

छोराले त बैतरणी तारेर पाप पखाल्ला तर म आफ्नी छोरीलाई कसरी भनुँ तिमी आफ्नो सबै रहर, इच्छा र लक्ष्यलाई बिर्सिएर त्याग र बलिदानको उदाहरण बन

आफूलाई हराएर अर्कैको लागि बाँच्न सिक, आफ्नो संसार उसैमाथि केन्द्रित गर

मलाई यो कस्तो धर्मसंकटमा पारेऊ आमा तिमीले

तिमीमाथि गरेको अन्यायको पाप पखाल्न मैले आफ्नो सन्तानमाथि अन्याय गर्नुपर्ने

कति राम्रो हुन्थियो होला आमा यदि छोरीले पनि छोराजस्तै बैतरणी तारेर पाप पखाल्न पाउने भए

आफ्नो पापको प्रायश्चित गर्न मैले अर्कोलाई फेरी पापको भागीदार बनाएको छु भन्ने आत्मग्लानीमा बाच्नुपर्ने थिएन |

यसको अडियो सुन्नका लागी यो लिंकमा जानहोस्: https://youtu.be/5VJK8zO2A2g

आमा तिमी देवी नबन

मान्छेलाई पृथ्वीमा जन्म भगवानले दिए भनेर होला आमा तिमीलाई भगवान माने

तर आमा तिमी भगवान नबन, तिमी देवी नबन

तिमी पनि मान्छे नै हौ, तिमी मान्छे नै बन |

तिमीलाई सबैले मिलेर देवी बनाए, पुज्य बनाए, तिमीलाई स्तम्भ माथि लगेर राखे

यति माथि राखे कि तिमी तल हेर्न पनि डरायौ, ओर्लिन पनि सकेनौ

तिमीलाई त्याग र बलिदानको उदाहरण बनाए, निस्वार्थ र अविरल प्रेमको सगर बनाए

तिमीलाई ममताकी खानी र वंशकी जननी बनाए

तिम्रालागि कथा, कविता र श्लोक रचना गरे

तिमीलाई यिनै रचनामा रम्न सिकाए

यसमै रुमल्याए |

आमा तिमी कति सोझी छौ

तिमीले यिनीहरुको चलाखी नै बुझिनौ

तिमीलाई महान बनाएर आमा, यिनीहरु मान्छे बनिरहे

तिमीलाई त्याग र बलिदानमा अल्झाएर आफु सपना र रहर पुरा गरिरहे

तिमी मेरै सेरोफेरो घुमीरहँदा उनीहरु संसार घुमे

तिमी मलाई पछ्याई रहेऊ, उनीहरु आफ्नो लक्ष्य पछ्याईरहे

तिमीलाई आमा बनाएर महान, पुज्य बनाए |

तर आमा तिमी कति सोझी

तिमी आमा बन्न व्यस्त हुँदा तिमीलाई मान्छे बन्नै दिएनन्

तिम्रो सपना, इच्छा, लक्ष्य तिमीलाई छोड्न बाध्य बनाए

आमा तिमीलाई देवीको नामको मिठाई दिएर तिमीसँग तिम्रो जीवन जिउनुको मिठास नै खोसिदिए

तिमीलाई सबै दुख हाँसेर सहन सिकाए

तिमीलाई जननी भनेर अल्मल्याएर आमा, तिम्रो पालनहार आफु बनिदिए

तिमीलाई पुज्य बनाएर आमा आफु शक्तिशालि बनिदिए

तिमीलाई देवी बनाएर आमा तिम्रो सबै मानव अधिकार खोसिदिए

त्यसैले आमा तिमी देवी नबन

तिमी पनि आम मान्छे जस्तै आफ्नो सपना, इच्छा र लक्ष्यको पछि लाग

तिमीले मेरा लागि आफ्नो रहर, सपनाहरु मरेको देखेर म खुशी हुन्न आमा

मलाई यो भारा नबोकाऊ आमा !

आमा, तिमीलाई देवी बनाए

तर आमा तिमी देवी नबन

तिमी पनि मान्छे हौ, मान्छे नै बन

तिमी त्याग र बलिदानको उदाहरण नबन,

आफ्नो इच्छा, चाहना, सपना नमार,

मेरा लागी त नमार !

यसको अडियो सुन्नका लागी यो लिंकमा जानुहोस्: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_A7Icb433A

एक लघुकथा

बिहान उठेर मुख धोएर यसो कोठामा पसेको चिया त खाट छेउको टेबुलमा आएर बसिरहेको रछ | फोन चलाउदै थिए भोक लागे जस्तो भयो, टाईम हेरेको १० बजेछ अनि भान्सामा पसे, त्यहाँ पनि टेबुलमा तात्तातो खानाले मलाई नै पर्खीराखेको रछ | मैले भात खाईसकेर हात हुने उठेको मात्र के थिए, त्यो मैले खाना खाको थाल पनि पछिपछि लागेर आयो |  साबुन हामफालेर थालमा गयो अनि नाच्न थाल्यो  | आँफै धारा खुल्यो अनि थाल धारा मुनि नुहाउन थाल्यो | मैले खासै वास्ता नगरी आफ्नो कोठातिर पसे त्यहाँ पनि अचम्म तालले मेरो खाटको तन्ना तन्किदै रछ अनि ओड्ने पनि पट्टीएर आफ्नो ठाउँमा बस्दै रैछ | म दङ्ग पर्दै त्यो मिलेको खाटमा लडे | त्यतिबेलै कुच्चो नाच्दै मेरो कोठा आइपुग्यो अनि कुनाकाप्चा चिहाउदै धुलो निकाल्न थाल्यो | मैले धुलो उडायो भनेर गाली पनि गरें त्यसलाई | धुलो र मैले खाएको चकलेटको खोललाई लखेट्दै खै कता पो पुर्यायो होला मैले खासै चासो देखाईन, मेरो कोठाबाट चाहिं बाहिर निकाल्यो, मलाई त्यति भए पुग्यो |

ट्वाइलेट जान खोजेको थिए, मेरा लुगाहरुले त बाटो पो छेकेर पालैसँग नुहाउदै रछन् | रिसले मुर्मुरिदै बाहिर निस्किन लगाए, मलाई ट्वाइलेट जो जानुथियो, उनीहरुको के काम छ र एकछिनमा नुहाए पनि त हुन्छ ! म टिभी हेर्न अर्को कोठामा गएँ, त्यहाँ बाट कुच्चो खुरुरु कुदेर बाहिर गयो, फेरी मेरो गाली खान्छु भनेर होला | टिभीमा पनि केहि राम्रो लागेन र फेरी आफ्नै कोठामा पसे | पानी पिउन मनलग्यो मात्र के भनेको थिए, एउटा गिलास खुरुरु कुदेर छेउमा टक्क अडियो | मैले पानी पिएपछि फेरी फर्केर गयो |

मैले ल्यापटप खोले र फिल्म हेर्न थालेँ | एकछिन पछि भोक लागे जस्तो भयो र म रिसले कराउन के लागेको थिए, मलाई मनपर्ने खाजा अनि चिया बोकेर एउटा किस्ती आतिन्दै आइपुग्यो | आज खाजा ढिलो ल्यायो नि त त्यसैले डराको होला बिचरो | मैले खाजा खाईसकेपछि फेरी त्यो किस्ती भाँडा बोकेर बाहिर निस्कियो | म फेरी फिल्म हेर्न थाले, मलाई अरुले के गर्दैछन्, के गर्न लागेका छन् भनेर चासो दिने फुर्सद कहाँ छ र?

तातो घिऊको मिठो बास्नाले भान्सा तिर जाऊँजाऊँ भएर भान्सा पसेको, टेबुलमा तात्तातो भात मलाई नै कुर्दै रछ | भात खाएर कोठामा पसेर गेम खेल्दै थिए कसैले ढोका ढकढकाए जस्तो लग्यो | ढोका खुल्लै भको थाहापाएर होला बिहान नुहाएका एक थाक लुगाहरु सरक्क पट्टिएर कोठामा आए अनि थपक्क दराज खोलेर भित्र पसे अनि ढोका लगाए | मैले खासै ध्यान दिईन किनभने मलाई अरुको चासो छैन |

आज त फेसबुक नै चलाको छैन भनेर सम्झे र खोले | सब साथीहरु कोहि खाने, कोहि फिल्म हेर्ने, कोहि किताब पढ्ने भनेर बसेका रछन् | केटासाथीहरु अल्छी लाग्यो कहिले लकडाउन सकिन्छ भनेर लेख्दैथिए, केटिहरु मिठो-मिठो परिकारको फोटो हाल्दै थिए | कसरी फुर्सद पाउँदाहुन्? मेरा घरका महिलाहरु त दिनभरी केहि काम नगरी बस्छन् र पनि यस्तो केहि पकाउने बनाउने जाँगर चलाउदैनन् | एकछिन सम्झेर रिसाए अनि रिसको सुरमा कतिबेला निदाएँछु थाहै पाईन |

लकडाउन भएदेखि पितृसत्ताको दिनचर्या यसरी नै बितिरहेको छ |

The democratic version of the Rana reign

Recently, I have had a lot of time for myself and I spent most of this time doing one thing that I enjoy the most - reading novels!

My recent read Satprayas left me thinking and making comparisons between the Rana rule and present Republic rule in the country. This book by Diamond Sumsher Rana, as most of his other works, tells the story of the Rana reign in Nepal. It mostly revolves around Dev Sumsher Rana, the reformist and probably the only democratic Rana ruler in the country whose democratic and people-oriented ideologies didn't let him stay on power for more than few months. 

Dev continuously tries to work for the betterment of the common people and development of the country which is not liked by the selfish Rana rulers who are more interested in their own personal development and entertainment. Long before he becomes the Prime Minister of Nepal, he approaches the then PMs with the proposals of starting development works in the country. The proposals are postponed with false assurances by the rulers, which Dev happens to believe. When he comes to power, he starts to work seriously on his dream projects, of opening schools, educating the common people, starting hydro power plants in the country, etc. His brothers, naturally doesn't like it and take over the power from him. 

This reminded me how such things still happen in our country. Whoever wants to do good are only given false hopes and assurances by others. Power and wealth are still being misused by those in power to support their personal development rather than the national development.

The book is considered as a historic novel so naturally, many things written there are true. I learned many things from it which made me think and compare the two political eras of our country. Here are some comparisons that I have made:

1.     The Rana rulers claimed to be powerful and strong. They were tyrant. But no matter how strong they presented themselves to be, they were in constant fear. They did not have to fear the common people like the politicians (if they do) have to now, but their own brothers. They are known for killing and overthrowing each other for power. Killing of their own kin was what brought them to power in the first place and it didn't quite stop. Well, even if the killing did, the mistrust remained. They did not trust each other and even a slight misunderstanding between one another lead them into plotting and taking over the control for themselves. This practice still exists in our political world. The leaders don't trust each other and if someone (outside of their political party) is in power, they start plotting to overthrow them and take the power for themselves. No wonder, we don't have a stable political leadership in the country.

2.     The Rana rulers lived extravagantly. They loved to show that they had enormous amounts of wealth (which of course wasn't theirs but belonged to the people of Nepal). They raised the taxes if their Dukutis were running low on wealth. They took people's money and spend them for their personal interest and entertainment. Looking at how our top leaders and country heads live and travel, we can rest assure that the practice of using people's money for personal benefit still exists. The only difference now is that the people are educated enough to know that their hard earned money is being wasted but yet, they do not seem to complain. The taxes still continues to rise. I wonder how poor our late Kings must have been because even after nationalizing all their wealth, our government has not been able to cover the loans and are in deep debt which results as price hike that only seems to affect the common people and not the ones riding the expensive air-conditioned vehicles around the clean roads of the capital.

3.     The newly appointed Shree 3 Maharaj (The title given to the Prime Minister then) would transfer all the national treasure into his palace. Few lakhs (One lakh of that time was more or less equivalent to one crore of today) were given to the second and third-in-command like Mukhtiyars and Hajuria. I fear the practice still exists, although not openly and not in the same way (you need to show some respect to those guys at Income Tax office, don't you?). The Prime Ministers and other Ministers in power still likes to live the same way and spend millions on their unnecessary travels to the foreign countries (apart from Sushil Koirala of course). I don't understand why discussions on state matters require the PMs and Ministers visit foreign country with their family (PLEASE let me know if this is necessary as my understanding of politics is limited). 

4.     Many development projects are still 'under construction' or limited to papers just like it was more than a hundred years ago. We are given assurances and hopes but not results. We only hear promises but do not see the actions. Dev Sumsher dreamed of starting hydro power plants in Karnali and Koshi, which to date, has not been completed (I wonder if it has been started at all).

There are many practices today which would remind us of the Rana reign if only we had enough time to sit, think and compare. We barely get enough time to spend with our family let alone compare the political eras. Our everyday struggle to provide a better life for our family does not give us any time to think about our country. We let everything happen around us without frowning and which is why the political leaders have so much control over our lives. They could easily turn our lives upside down if they want because we have forgotten how much power we have over them. We let them rule us when they are there only to serve us. If only we had enough time to think and take some action.

Well, I did have enough time to think after I left my job and waited for my college to begin. There was nothing else to do, thanks to the hours of load-shedding, which made me grab a book and then think about these issues over and over again.

The conclusion I came to often terrifies me. We abolished the Rana rule decades ago but did we actually do it? Are those days really over? Because from what I can see and feel, the system still exists. I fear that the Republican system in the country is only the modified, refined and so-called 'democratic' version of the Rana rule.

Great Expectations!

Long before we are born, our parents have their mind set on what we need to do and how we should behave depending upon what we are (male or female child). It is only after they plan out our future for next five to ten years that the parents actually think about bringing us into this world. They expect us to fulfill their dreams, behave accordingly throughout our lives and do what they always dreamed but never got around to do. It's like they want to fill that void through us, they want us to have the life that they could not, which is good but only when we want to live that way.
What if our dreams are different then theirs? What if we want different things from life? What if we don't want to live the way our parents wants us to live?
Then there comes ideological clashes and other issues that might result in ruining the heavenly relation of parents and offspring unless one of them backs off. But its not always the parents who expect us to do things. It is understandable for parents wanting their kids to have the life they dreamed of but never had because they want their kids to be happy. And they surprisingly believe that kind of life will make their children happy and satisfied.
But its not just the parents who expect things from us. The list is too big!
Since the moment we are brought into this world, we are expected to do things. As soon as we are born, we are expected to cry or even laugh, show some kind of signal that indicates we are alive and normal. Hence, begins the series of great expectations.
When we start growing up, our parents expect us to learn to speak good things, walk, run, etc. In short, they expect us to behave as a normal and healthy child. When we join school, the teachers expect us to be disciplined and hard working. We are expected to know all the alphabets by heart. It doesn't matter if we are two and half years old or five, we need to learn all of it along with new words formed by the letter. I am sure you all realize how hard it was for you to learn A for Apple and Kapuri Ka for the first time. Moreover, they expect us to be able to write them down on our own rather than copying from the books. Of course they teach us to do so for a whole year, but what they forget is that, not all of us have the same memory power or talent that helps us learn things faster.
As soon as we pass through Nursery or LKG, we are expected to learn more and more subjects that include English, Nepali, Maths and Science. Even before we learn to pronounce these words, we are expected to carry those heavy books and learn everything, solve every questions that are inside the book on our own. What I don't understand is why does these children have to carry those books when you can simply give them worksheets and ask them to carry it in a file, just the ones that are needed? Why carry all those books in a bag that are larger than the children themselves when you have other simpler options?
When we start making friends, our friends, too, start expecting things from us. They expect us to help them in whatever they are doing, understand their situation and keep their secrets safe with us, share our lunch with them and help them do their homework. Sometimes, they even expect us to do all their homework for them while they enjoy the latest video games or watch their favorite cartoon show. They expect us to help them pass exams, meet their girlfriend/boyfriends, buy gifts for them, loan them money when they run out of their pocket money, take them out on lunch just because they feel like eating something at the nearby restaurant/food stalls. But above all, they expect us to stand by their side whenever they need us, whether it is after a difficult breakup, fight with their parents, fight with the neighboring kids, shopping, bunking classes or losing someone. They expect us to be there for everything, whether they are doing something good or bad.
It is a great responsibility and for someone like me, who don't know how to handle many situations like that, it is pretty difficult to meet their expectations.
When we get into relationship, more expectations come our way. We are expected to be loving, caring and understanding towards them and their feelings. We are expected to call them at least twice a day (as soon as we wake up and just before we go to sleep). It is sort of compulsion and it is expected of your partner to call you at least twice and text you as many times as you can count. You are expected to behave, that is, you are expected not to flirt with others, tease others, make them feel alone or even jealous. You are expected to give your full attention to them when they are talking even if they are talking about something you have no interest in or something you know nothing about. You are expected to keep them happy and make them feel special and loved all the time. You are expected to make their family happy and comfortable around you so they could bond with you. And when you get married, the expectation increases.
With every passing phase of life, expectations of others increases. Your parents expect you to behave in one way, your friends expect you to behave in someway and your partner or spouse expect you to behave in some other way. There are always the expectation of your parents and your spouse's parents and later in life, your children's expectations. Even at your office, your boss expects something from you. They expect you to work well and finish as many work as you can. However, they never expect you to ask for raise in salary or ask for an early leave today because there is something important you need to do outside office. When you enter your office gate, your boss expect you to become a robot who could be controlled and who could work twice as hard and fast as a normal human being.
The series of expectations never ends, even after death. Because even after you die, your offspring might expect you to leave a huge among of money and property behind for them to enjoy. Seriously, throughout the life, you live for others and they never realize the value of it.
When you are old and grey, one day, you would sit back and reflect upon your life, the life you wanted and the life you lived. There will be certain difference between how you wanted to live and how you lived, but it is up to you to decide which one to make better. Do you want the life you dreamed to be better than the life you lived? or do you want to live a better life than the one your dreamed? The decision is yours and with every passing minute, you will be losing one precious moment of the life you want which will bring smile on your face when you will think about it many years from now.
Someone always tells me, don't live for others, live for yourself and now I think he is right. Living up to meet other's expectations and dreams could never make me happy because no matter what I do, I could never satisfy everyone. The most important thing is for me to be satisfied with the life I live and I guess I am learning to appreciate my life with all its rights and wrongs. It doesn't matter where I live or how I live or if I meet other's expectations, at the end of the day, all that matters is the smile that comes to my lips and the satisfaction that warms my heart while I think about how I cherished my life and how happy I am.

Whose fault is it!

Is it the fault of the one who tortures or the one who tolerates it silently? Who is at fault? Human beings are abusers of power, it is a well known fact that we have learned through the centuries of experiences. However, we have also realized that the abusers can only be tamed and controlled if the people being abused take a stand. It is the way in which many tyrant leaders were abolished from power not only around the world but also in our own country. It was the way we removed Rana rule from our country as well as the century old Shah rule (although it doesn’t seem like a good idea seeing the present state of the country). But this is not what I wanted to write about.

I am intrigued by the idea of domestic violence. When man beats a woman for no reason at all (at least I can’t think of anything resulting in such harsh physical torture). Do these abusers have psychological condition? Or do they just do it because they want to feel superior? Whatever be the reason, for me at least, these people suffer from extreme psychological condition which makes them believe they have the power to torture others. I have heard of many cases as such. I have been witness to few, although I have not seen them with my eyes, hearing a man beat and a woman cry is enough evidence all right. Each time I heard it, a sense of fear and hatred grew in me. It got stronger with every slap or hit I heard. Did the man want to make the woman fear him? If so why? What is the point of making someone fear and hate you?  I have never understood the need of being so violent on someone for reasons I could never think of. You could always try discussing the problem. I don’t think there is any problem in the world which can’t be solved with discussion and understanding because most of them are caused by misunderstandings. I have never understood the intention and need that the abuser have. Maybe I could understand if I was to talk to them but, hell, I might end up hitting them on their faces!

However, the more intriguing part is why does the woman stay quiet about it all? Why doesn’t she take a stand? It is a well known fact that domestic violence is a crime which may result in jail sentence or penalty when proven guilty then why not file a case? Why not take a stand to protect yourself from the crime? Don’t you think rather than the abuser, the people suffering are more at fault in such cases? If you take up stand, then they will gradually stop doing so or maybe few nights at jail might calm their nerves. Maybe the reason for this is the dependence of females over males. If a woman is independent, she also becomes confident and is capable of looking after herself, however, in our country, most of the women are dependent over men, hence, the direct prey of their abuse.

Does she stay because she loves him and believes he will actually change someday? If so, she could only be a fool. Gone are the days when such things were proved to be true. These days, people usually take out their work or other frustrations on someone ‘weaker’ they have at home. Rather than being the love of their life, you are more like a tool to play with. Take up stand ladies and protect yourself because in this selfish world, there is no one who will do it for you. Even the people in your family stays behind and watch it rather than talk sense into that monster you call your love or whatever.

I wonder when such cases are going to end and when we will truly have ‘peace at home’. But for now, I really can’t figure out ‘who is at fault?’

The road belongs to …

Walking on the road has been difficult recently, not because of the increasing number of vehicles or the traffic rules but the attitudes of the vehicle owners. Be it a biker, car driver or taxi/micro-bus/bus/tempo owner, their increasing attitudes have become a problem for the pedestrians. The way they behave and the way they treat the pedestrians shows how they feel about riding a vehicle over walking on the street.  Their attitudes that show as if they own the streets are just too much to bear and still, it is increasing day-by-day. Not everyone, but more than fifty percent feels like they are superior then the pedestrians.

Well, for those who have the wrong idea that the road belongs to them, here is what they need to know: the road had and will always belong to the walkers not the vehicle owners. Although these days, the roads are made keeping in mind the types of vehicles that would be operated there, there are some ways that are meant for pedestrians as well. It is a different story that some people do not follow the traffic rules and cross road wherever and however they want to. But, most often, the vehicles, too, are at fault. I am not saying that the fault lies in one party but this article is solely dedicated to the treatment a pedestrian gets from a vehicle through the eyes of a pedestrian.

I walk on the road and, yes, at times I have broken some traffic rules. It happened because probably I was late for something that could not be delayed. Keeping that aside, every time I walk on the street, whenever a vehicle, private or public (most often its private or a taxi), comes near me, I am scared to death. The image these vehicles have made on my mind is immense and yes, certainly dreadful. It is not because of me being a victim of an accident, that had happened years ago, but my fear of the vehicles is recent. My fear lay in the way the vehicles go past me. The sound that the bike creates sends chills to my spine and the taxis, well, I am grateful that I could still feel my feet when the taxi passes by. If only they had realized the result of their actions and apologized, the case might have been different. But the apologies seem far-fledged when they show their teeth and ride away. The feeling that I get then, I want to break all their teeth in one punch. Their idea of fun isn’t understandable to the pedestrians who fear for their life when a vehicle comes near them at speed. No one is stopping others to have fun but just be careful to avoid giving others heart attacks while you try to indulge yourself in fun. The real you can be defined by the way you treat those who are less powerful than you. Maybe the carelessness is the reason why the number of accident includes vehicles.

Some I had once known had said that he respected the pedestrians and believed that the road belongs to them first, then to the two wheelers and finally the four wheelers gets to ride on them. I had liked his theory. This teacher, I don’t remember his name, didn’t walk, as most of the people might have thought because of his comments but owns a four wheeler. Even though I had come to know him for about a week, I came to realize that he meant what he said and every time anyone or a two wheeler tried to cross road or overtake his vehicle, he gave them chances. Rare are the people who do that in today’s world when everyone feels they are having a race of life and death with the others.

Just make sure that you are following the rules and not causing harm to anyone else and never forget that the road belongs to others as much as it belongs to you. A road belongs to those who use it, not to those who built it, if that was the case, most of the roads of Nepal would have belonged to the foreign nations. And, also remember that the pedestrians have left the entire highway and main roads for you using sidewalks for themselves so whenever, you drive through the narrow paths, respect the people walking there and avoid giving them a shock just for fun.

Characterizing Sita in Ramayana

The Hindu epic Ramayana describes the character of Ram as selfless, well mannered, devoted and disciplined character. He knows his responsibilities and put them ahead of his own life and personal duties. Being a King, he is owned by the Kingdom and his people first and his preference for his own life and family falls behind. Everyone familiar with the story knows how respected and holy he was who set an example of true Leader. However, it’s not him and his qualities this article discusses about but the prejudice his better half Sita had to suffer.

Born to a Royal family, she never knew what need or problem was. Being married to a Crown Prince, her life was blessed by the God himself. However, future had different things in store for her. When her husband was ordered exile from the Kingdom for fourteen years, she volunteered to join him as a devoted wife would do. Maybe that was a wrong decision she made that completely changed her life for worst. Had she stayed at the palace, she wouldn’t have ended up throwing herself alive into the lap of mother Earth.
While on exile, she was kidnapped by the Ravan, a powerful and villainous King of Demons. Her only mistake was crossing the Laxman Rekha that her brother-in-law had drawn around the house to keep her safe. Disobeying her brother-in-law Laxman’s request became the biggest mistake of her life. Everyone seem to see that mistake of hers and blame her for committing it without thinking about the reason for her doing so. She loved and worshipped her husband and the fear of losing him was so great that she did not give thought to how brave and unbeatable her husband was. No challenger could stand in front of him which is one reason why Ravan had to kidnap her by misleading and cheating them. She accused Laxman of loving her and trying to get his brother killed when he didn’t go for rescue of his brother in the forest (which wasn’t required after all). He drew the circle around the house and asked her never, under any circumstances, cross the line as he had cast spell in it for her safety. She, however, could not comply with his request as the Ravan in disguise of a Sage threatened to curse her husband if she didn’t bring the alms to where he was seated (away from the Laxman Rekha). It was because of the fear of her husband’s safety she crossed the line which is also interpreted as the Line of Honor for women in present day. When in the hour of fear, one happens to lose their sanity and could not think straight. It is perfectly understandable why she send Laxman after her husband when she heard a cry for help and also her crossing the line to give alms to the Sage. Her only mistake was to love her husband too much that the fear of him getting hurt took over her senses.

Despite of being held captive in a strange land surrounded and tortured by the Demons who threatened to kill her if she did not accept the offer made by Ravan, she fearlessly managed to keep her dignity and honor. Even the God of Fire (Agni Dev) could not burn her and she remained unhurt amidst the fire during her Agni Parikshya (Fire Test). However, all her love and devotion were forgotten at once when a fisherman questioned her honor.

She was left out alone in the middle of the forest with nothing to go on except her love and devotion towards her husband. Raising two sons on her own was difficult for the princess who never had to face any troubles before she accompanied her husband in his exile. She ended her life requesting the mother Earth to take her into her shelter, she went back to where she had come from.

We call Sita’s name before Ram for her devotion and pure love towards her husband. Except that she only faces prejudice for making one mistake in her life. And even today, the example of Sita is given to stop the females who want to cross their bounds of tradition, in search of their own identity. In the countries like Nepal which is rather based on traditional values, the belief still lies afresh that if a woman crosses the boundary of her house, she is certain to fail and cease to self-destruction. This is one of the major reasons why women are not allowed the freedom and equality that a man enjoys.

Stereotyping Women in Media

Women images, in media are always stereotyped. The roles they perform, the way they are presented are all traditional and had been the same way for decades now. Women are always prioritized for their physical beauty, sex appeal, submissive and suffering character. Be it advertorials or soap operas, women always are portrayed in their stereotype images.

Women in Advertorials

Despite women's pro-active movement and Code of Commercial Advertising on Doordarshan, the Code for Self Regulation and Code for Advertising Practice of the Advertising Standard Council of Pakistan and the Indecent Representative of Women (Prohibition) Act 1986, the fact remains that both Print and Electronic Media continue to portray stereotype images of women. They focus on sex appeal or physical beauty of women to sell a product. In spite of some good work being done by NGO's like Media Watch, Amnesty International and some select UN committees, the assessment of the content and portrayal of women by media have remained a neglected area of research and a matter meriting redress by the regulatory bodies.[1]

In most of the advertorials, Women are portrayed either as housewives obsessed with cleanliness, personal hygiene, fragrances and liking for products to keep home dirt and germ free or as a sex object focusing their physical beauty, well-set hair, perfect body shape and teeth, shining skin, etc. to sell products. Woman's beauty and bodily charm is used to sell cosmetics and physical fitness products.

Even the advertorials depict women as submissive characters and dependent on men for their rescue while most of the men in the advertisements are more masculine and strong and comparatively successful. Advertisements showcasing successful and competent women are lesser than the ones with housewives and beautiful bimbos. The ads that feature women in the lead and central role are the ones for kitchen and home appliances, sanitary, cosmetics, baby care, domestic help and detergents. Some ads also show women crying out for help unless a man comes to rescue. Such ads portraying man as strong and central character often promote products for man's use. The ads for cosmetic products show women obsessed with her physical beauty and trying to make her look beautiful in order to attract a man.

A study of women in advertisements shows that women's appearance in personal hygiene product adverts are seven times more than those of the adverts in other categories. Seventy five percent of all adverts portray women for products used in the bathroom or kitchen; fifty six percent of adverts portray women as domestic helps or housewives. While men are presented in forty three professions concerning their roles, women in comparison are presented in eighteens of them.[2]

Adverts, thus, stereotype women image portraying them as dedicated housewives or beauties in order to attract men.

Women in Soap Operas

Another stereotype entails depicting women as a wife or a mother or shy, submissive and suffering women or someone meant exclusively for home and in certain cases, another woman's enemy. This type of image is usually seen in the daily soaps. Women here are showcased as wife or mother or a daughter-in-law or a domestic help suffering through all the trouble for the sake of the family welfare, fighting with the evils, usually another woman portrayed as villain. Though she is attractive, she is home centered and contented. Although, the central character is given to the lady, the male characters are usually successful and often competent. No matter how competent the woman is shown in the soap at the beginning, as the series proceeds and she gets married, all women turn into the submissive and suffering housewives. All her, dreams and aims are shattered and she ends up having only one aim in life that is, to beget children and nurture her new family. Almost all of the prime time soap operas fall into this category. No matter how competent she was at the beginning, she ends up herself into middle of the domestic trouble.

The aim of each woman depicted there is to get married and beget children. These soaps are about companionship and relationship. In them relationship between women among themselves are important but not so important as between a woman and a man. The woman is left to serve the world inside her home while the outside world belongs to her husband or sons, similar to the traditional society. Most of the soap operas showcase traditional families with women busy in household chores and tensions and also are dressed in traditional attire, usually a sari covering their heads with a Pallu. Most of our prime television soaps fall in this category. Only few of the soap operas show women as competitive and working lady. However, a woman who pursues her career at the expense of her men-folk is shown to come to grief for her audacity and unnatural aspiration and also displayed as a failure. Any attempt on her part to challenge the accepted stereotype image of a woman whose success and achievement depend upon her working with men does not find favour with conventional audience. Hence, the soap operas, too, stereotype women's role.

Women in Film Industries

The film industry is not an exception. The actresses in the movies are usually the sufferers and waiting for their hero to come and rescue them. Old movies where the lady had a strong character were rare as woman stronger than a man was not acceptable in the society. However, few movies did break the stereotype. So far, the Western market has overcome the traditional pattern of portraying women however the Eastern film market still revolves around the same line with very few exceptions. Women still are weak and dependent over their father or their boyfriend/husbands. They usually are the easy target for the villains and it is the hero who rescues them. They are usually obsessed with their looks and make up. One of the best example is the Bollyhood movie Tees Mar Khan where Katrina Kaif's character is so much obsessed with being an actress and looking good that the only thing she does in the entire movie is make up and overacting. The actresses are either simple villager or a super glamorous city girl but always weak and dependent on a male.

Women as Media Professionals

Also, the media as a profession for women is more or less difficult. They are always left behind in terms of major decision making or control of the management. The important decision makers are usually men and also the major or the important role and responsibilities lies on their hands. Women are more often in front of the camera reading news or leading some programs. The presenters, as we see them, are beautiful ladies with perfect physical features. Women are judged not just by their talent but also their beauty and good looks in the media. Be it a mainstream media or other, women with good looks could be found dominating the cameras. Not just adverts and daily soap operas but also professional media outlets, broadcast stations prefer women with good looks and facial features than a plain one. In the media, women are judged more by their looks then their intellect. This, however, at present, is changing and we can see few women enjoying the important and decision making posts in the media houses.

Media, as a result, has not been doing justice to the role of women in society. However, for media to promote balanced and non-stereotype portrayal of women in their multiple roles, it is imperative that government, media, NGOs and private sector should come together and forge joint strategies to promote gender equality and gender justice. However this presupposes gender sensitivity among media owners and managers. In its new-found expansive role, media should foster a broad ethical content and moralizing impulse in the society so essential for the emergence of a civil society. Moreover for the society’s abiding benefit media must nurture and transmit humane values of civilization. They must take upon themselves the proactive role of a protector and a promoter of human rights, gender justice and democratic order. Thus, the stereotyping of the women in the media should be removed and they should be treated and characterized as equals and in their present status and role. However, in context of portraying women in a fair manner, Eastern media (especially Nepali) still has a long way to go.

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[1] http://www.paktribune.com/pforums/posts.php?t=3283&start=1

[2] http://www.paktribune.com/pforums/posts.php?t=3283&start=1

Joy of Writing

I had written before in newspaper and magazine but this time, it is different. I have been writing letters to the editor and some write-ups in light issues but always as just another reader. However, this was the first time I wrote officially as a reporter for a newspaper.

My first assignment as a reporter was on Fashion. I had to cover the recent trends in Kathmandu, what the Kathmanduities prefer to wear? Moving from one mall to another with a notebook and pen in hand and a camera hanging through my neck, showering the salesperson and costumers with bunch of questions did feel like being a reporter. Though it was a for feature, it was for a well established paper rather than our school magazines and wall journals.

While the report I presented went through the editing process, my heart beat so loud I was afraid everyone else were listening. It was approved and my heart beat even faster and this time with happiness. After all the formalities ended, it finally was ready for publishing.

The paper, however, took longer than I excepted to come in Nepal, as it was published from Europe. Nevertheless, the online edition was all set for update. The moment I saw my name in the report, I was spell bound. It was the most wonderful moment of my life. I was so happy that as soon as my report was updated on the official site of the paper, I shared the link on my Facebook status and tagged my family and friends. I believed it was the fastest way to share my joy with my loved ones.

Nepal Tourism Year

Nepal is celebrating Tourism Year 2011, it has organized many program to promote it, however, there are many things yet to be done.

Nepal Tourism Day was marked on 14th Jan. with lots of celebration, fireworks and many more. Ministers keep visiting to places to promote it. The government has even put a ban on deforestation but is it enough?

The environment is not clean and pollution haven't decreased yet. We see tons of wastes thrown on the roads, making it difficult for people to walk around, in major junctions like New Baneshwor, Newroad, etc.

The load shedding is increasing every month. The problems of traffic jams and strikes are never ending. How are we supposed to attract tourists if they don't even get basic facilities, if they don't feel safe and if thy can't enjoy their vacations properly?

Moreover, there is the problem of hospitality among the hotel and restaurant management. A paper mentioned that an Indian celebrity chef was scolded for entering in a restaurant's kitchen and the chef had to clam down the manager and give him a lecture on hospitality. Amidst these incidents, the responsibility of making Nepal Tourism Year a success seems far-fetched.

Also, there must be some changes in tourist destinations in Nepal. Nepal is naturally rich country and beside Pokhara, Lumbini and Chitwan, there are other beautiful places to focus on as well. No one would want to visit the same place again and again, no matter how beautiful it is. So the government should have developed infrastructures and made easy access to other places as well. A good change doesnt hurt. Nepal should focus on promoting other places as well, rather than the same every time.

And above all, political stab"actual" Prime Minister rather than the "caretaker".

When all of these are taken care of, than we could actually make Nepal Tourism Year 2011 a grand success.

Internet addiction.

Internet is becoming a problem rather than solution in many countries, especially in South Korea. It has also resulted in crime. Many cases are found in Newspaper regarding this country. The case of the parent who killed their toddler from malnutrition while raising a net baby wasn't old enough when another case was found. A boy in his early twenties killed his mother because she kept nagging him for his addiction to internet.

Such cases are increasing in number and solutions are difficult to find. However, no such cases has been found in Nepal yet. But it wont be soon if the addiction to net do not decrease.

Facebook.com

Facebook has been an addiction for the users of all age groups. Once you are logged in, you forget every other things you have to do. It's not a new thing, all of us face this problem. The world of Facebook is so big that we just get lost in it and it is one of the biggest internet drug that I can think of.

There are some benefits to it, though. We can get it touch with our long lost friends and relatives and also make new ones. Also the message of love and humanity can be shared.

However, it has been misused for various reasons. For some religious reasons, it has been banned all over Pakistan and Bangladesh. Misusing anything is not good and because of one person, everyone has to suffer. People in these two countries must be suffering because of this. Just wish sites like this be used in proper way so no one would have to be left out of this facility.

Why Discriminate??

During my visit to Terai this time, I found something strange. I saw that one Martyr was referred as Madhesi Saheed. I was shocked at that. Why have people started to discriminate them as Madhesi/Pahadi?? A Martyr is a Martyr for a country, aren't they?? They should be respected equally, no discrimination should be done. They belong to a nation, not just a community.

Minister slaps CDO, keep denying the act.

Kathmandu, Nov. 17 , 2009

State Minister for Agriculture and co-operatives Karima Begam assaulted Durga Prasad Bhandari, the Chief District Officer (CDO) of Parsa on Tuesday (Nov. 11) for sending her an old vehicle to receive at the airport.

"I was preparing to welcome her when she attacked me without hearing my explanation", Bhandari said. He claimed the vehicle to be in good condition. The vehicle Minister ordered was not available but Begam grabbed his collar and slapped him four times.
Begam was charged for assault, a legal complaint has been filed at the District Police Office against her under Public Offence Act for assaulting the CDO, and an arrest warrant has been issued for her said Police Inspector Bhuwaneshwor Sah. As the Minister returned to Kathmandu twenty minutes after the case was filed by Bhandari's bodyguard, the case was transferred to police in the Capital and Lalitpur.

Begam, however remained defiant under the face of criticism and ongoing protest by various groups. She even dared security personnel to arrest her. "I meet the police wherever I go. They show me respect. Who will arrest me? What I did was absolutely right," she justified her act.
She could be arrested only if Ministry of Home Affairs gives order but Minister Bhim Rawal could not do so without getting a go-ahead from the PM and the coalition partners in the government.

However, Minister for Home Affairs Bhim Bahadur Rawal, who had earlier condemned the act as going against her, gave an advice to Begam : You should have got hold of a few henchmen to beat the CDO. You should not have done it yourself. This has created problems for me".
Amidst the ongoing protest by civil servants of various districts, no action has been taken against her for more than a week. Instead, she said that she would take action against Bhandari and would not apologize as demanded by government. She, who accused Bhandari for being "irresponsible" earlier, accused him for "misconduct to her body".
"First he grabbed my hands against my will and tried to pull me into his chamber", she said. "It is the CDO who has to apologize", she added.

PM instructed her to accept her mistake in the incident and she conceded her weakness in front of him. He summoned her for clarification. After emerging from the PM's office the Minister, however denied admitting her fault. "I slapped him as he disobeyed and dishonored me", she parroted.

Causing Problem

This Banda is causing problem again. I don't know what the Maoists want. They say something and do something else. The way of protesting this time is better than before but not exactly the best. The number of people coming to Kathmandu for the program has caused many problems. Not just for the Businessmen and shopkeepers but also for the students. The schools and colleges have been closed for days no and there is no slight hope for it to open soon. Even the environment is being polluted. They can manage the food but where to they dispose the wastes. There is scarcity of water in Kathmandu and it is not sufficient for the people in Kathmandu itself and during this time it is the biggest torture to bring thousands of people here. Everything here is just unbalanced and not at all systematic.

Confusion!!

Sometimes we tend to believe what people say as a joke. It often happens. They say it so seriously that we think they mean it but we then realize it was a joke when they finally confess it. It creates lot of confusion sometimes leading to misunderstanding and often make the relationship cold. What we say might hurt others so we need to be careful even when we joke. It just happened to me. A friend of mine said something to me, actually too much, about what I don't like and I was very furious at him. I later realized that he was just joking but he had chosen the wrong topic.

So, when we joke, let's be careful not to hurt others because relationships (any) are very sensitive and could break easily with a small confusion or misunderstanding.

Holidays!!

Holidays are what most of the people die for, be it a preschooler, college student or a job holder. Everyone wants a break for themselves from their work. Everyone are excited about their holidays and start making plans about how to spend it. Some do their house cores that are pending, some their office works while some just hang around with friend or sleep the whole time. Some could get really creative during their holidays.

Holidays after SLC or High School exams are the longest and most useful if used in proper way. We have plenty of time to take various classes on the subjects that interests us, can develop new hobbies or visit new places. It enables us to get knowledge and develop our skills.

However, it could get boring sometimes. Even one day off would make us lazy and bored. Especially during Bandhas and load shedding hours, when we could neither get out of house nor watch TV or do other works that needs electricity.

We could, then, read books, do some creative works like drawing, gardening, cooking, etc. There are lots of hobbies if we think of. So look out for it and get creative and make your holiday useful.

Rules Meant To Be Broken?

Just a couple of days ago, I was on my way to Bhaktapur. I was waiting for my friend at Tinkune when I saw a rally coming. It was the group of people marking gathered to mark the 24 Chaitra's Jana Andolan day. I don't remember if it was Jana Andolan first or second. Well, it wasn't important compared to what I saw.

The sight astonished me. I saw three adult boys on a single bike pass in front of a traffic police. She did nothing at all - no punishment, no fine, nothing at all. She just let it go. I wondered about the rule for bikers that let only two adult people on a bike. No punishment, no fine for them? Why? Just because they were involved in the rally? Isn't there any rule for them? OK, escort them, give them space, do whatever you like but without breaching the rules. If the traffic police do not follow traffic rules how do they expect the commoners to do so???

She would have charged if it was someone else but just a flag on the bike and it is free. Wow, what a law!! That's ridiculous. Rules are not only for commoners but for all, EVERYONE. Do they have the right to break the rule? Are the rules meant to be broken???