Whose fault is it!

Is it the fault of the one who tortures or the one who tolerates it silently? Who is at fault? Human beings are abusers of power, it is a well known fact that we have learned through the centuries of experiences. However, we have also realized that the abusers can only be tamed and controlled if the people being abused take a stand. It is the way in which many tyrant leaders were abolished from power not only around the world but also in our own country. It was the way we removed Rana rule from our country as well as the century old Shah rule (although it doesn’t seem like a good idea seeing the present state of the country). But this is not what I wanted to write about.

I am intrigued by the idea of domestic violence. When man beats a woman for no reason at all (at least I can’t think of anything resulting in such harsh physical torture). Do these abusers have psychological condition? Or do they just do it because they want to feel superior? Whatever be the reason, for me at least, these people suffer from extreme psychological condition which makes them believe they have the power to torture others. I have heard of many cases as such. I have been witness to few, although I have not seen them with my eyes, hearing a man beat and a woman cry is enough evidence all right. Each time I heard it, a sense of fear and hatred grew in me. It got stronger with every slap or hit I heard. Did the man want to make the woman fear him? If so why? What is the point of making someone fear and hate you?  I have never understood the need of being so violent on someone for reasons I could never think of. You could always try discussing the problem. I don’t think there is any problem in the world which can’t be solved with discussion and understanding because most of them are caused by misunderstandings. I have never understood the intention and need that the abuser have. Maybe I could understand if I was to talk to them but, hell, I might end up hitting them on their faces!

However, the more intriguing part is why does the woman stay quiet about it all? Why doesn’t she take a stand? It is a well known fact that domestic violence is a crime which may result in jail sentence or penalty when proven guilty then why not file a case? Why not take a stand to protect yourself from the crime? Don’t you think rather than the abuser, the people suffering are more at fault in such cases? If you take up stand, then they will gradually stop doing so or maybe few nights at jail might calm their nerves. Maybe the reason for this is the dependence of females over males. If a woman is independent, she also becomes confident and is capable of looking after herself, however, in our country, most of the women are dependent over men, hence, the direct prey of their abuse.

Does she stay because she loves him and believes he will actually change someday? If so, she could only be a fool. Gone are the days when such things were proved to be true. These days, people usually take out their work or other frustrations on someone ‘weaker’ they have at home. Rather than being the love of their life, you are more like a tool to play with. Take up stand ladies and protect yourself because in this selfish world, there is no one who will do it for you. Even the people in your family stays behind and watch it rather than talk sense into that monster you call your love or whatever.

I wonder when such cases are going to end and when we will truly have ‘peace at home’. But for now, I really can’t figure out ‘who is at fault?’

The road belongs to …

Walking on the road has been difficult recently, not because of the increasing number of vehicles or the traffic rules but the attitudes of the vehicle owners. Be it a biker, car driver or taxi/micro-bus/bus/tempo owner, their increasing attitudes have become a problem for the pedestrians. The way they behave and the way they treat the pedestrians shows how they feel about riding a vehicle over walking on the street.  Their attitudes that show as if they own the streets are just too much to bear and still, it is increasing day-by-day. Not everyone, but more than fifty percent feels like they are superior then the pedestrians.

Well, for those who have the wrong idea that the road belongs to them, here is what they need to know: the road had and will always belong to the walkers not the vehicle owners. Although these days, the roads are made keeping in mind the types of vehicles that would be operated there, there are some ways that are meant for pedestrians as well. It is a different story that some people do not follow the traffic rules and cross road wherever and however they want to. But, most often, the vehicles, too, are at fault. I am not saying that the fault lies in one party but this article is solely dedicated to the treatment a pedestrian gets from a vehicle through the eyes of a pedestrian.

I walk on the road and, yes, at times I have broken some traffic rules. It happened because probably I was late for something that could not be delayed. Keeping that aside, every time I walk on the street, whenever a vehicle, private or public (most often its private or a taxi), comes near me, I am scared to death. The image these vehicles have made on my mind is immense and yes, certainly dreadful. It is not because of me being a victim of an accident, that had happened years ago, but my fear of the vehicles is recent. My fear lay in the way the vehicles go past me. The sound that the bike creates sends chills to my spine and the taxis, well, I am grateful that I could still feel my feet when the taxi passes by. If only they had realized the result of their actions and apologized, the case might have been different. But the apologies seem far-fledged when they show their teeth and ride away. The feeling that I get then, I want to break all their teeth in one punch. Their idea of fun isn’t understandable to the pedestrians who fear for their life when a vehicle comes near them at speed. No one is stopping others to have fun but just be careful to avoid giving others heart attacks while you try to indulge yourself in fun. The real you can be defined by the way you treat those who are less powerful than you. Maybe the carelessness is the reason why the number of accident includes vehicles.

Some I had once known had said that he respected the pedestrians and believed that the road belongs to them first, then to the two wheelers and finally the four wheelers gets to ride on them. I had liked his theory. This teacher, I don’t remember his name, didn’t walk, as most of the people might have thought because of his comments but owns a four wheeler. Even though I had come to know him for about a week, I came to realize that he meant what he said and every time anyone or a two wheeler tried to cross road or overtake his vehicle, he gave them chances. Rare are the people who do that in today’s world when everyone feels they are having a race of life and death with the others.

Just make sure that you are following the rules and not causing harm to anyone else and never forget that the road belongs to others as much as it belongs to you. A road belongs to those who use it, not to those who built it, if that was the case, most of the roads of Nepal would have belonged to the foreign nations. And, also remember that the pedestrians have left the entire highway and main roads for you using sidewalks for themselves so whenever, you drive through the narrow paths, respect the people walking there and avoid giving them a shock just for fun.

Love Story!

Its already more than five years, but with start of each day, it feels like it was just yesterday that the romance began. Well, not exactly a 'Romance' but a shy and a little 'yes' thing began. As clichéd as it may seem it was two college classmates getting together into a bond that neither of them had thought would last so long. With every passing day, for the last five years it seems like it all began just a day before.

A beep on cell phone alerting about an arrival of a message, no one would think could change your life forever. Quite uncommon and rare was the style and content of the message, which at first, was denied abruptly but later, got a hesitant positive response. The story that started with that particular message has, to date, written many more stories, anecdotes through more than thousands of messages. The shyness and hesitation converted into playfulness and determination and here we are, five years later, to stand together, never to give up on a relationship that neither of us thought would last this long.

It all began with that particular message which expressed the desire to be together in a relationship, share a bond, that neither parties involved knew, how long it would last.

The initial abrupt denial was later followed by a hesitant acceptance and then the story began that brought two lives together, through several ups and downs that only a Bollywood masala movie could have, the fun, playfulness, fights, debates, quarrel began to change the feelings making them deeper and stronger. The five year long period had many moments, events, situation, awkward, angry, lovely and magical, everything that has passed between the two of us comes clearly to the mind if I sit back and think about. The five years seems like five minutes and the forever could not even be enough, it seems, to love, to live, to fight, to care, to be there.

Along with each passing day, the feelings grow stronger, determined to live through all that comes our way, spend the rest of our lives together, that has not only become a wish but a goal of the life. The goal that does not make you forget your other dreams but let to live all of them and add up more to it. You dream of your future, not alone this time, you have someone to share it with, dream together with. The picture does not feature you alone but there stands, besides you, that particular person who taught you to dream big, who promised to stay by your side come what may, the one who, by all means, is only yours, to live, to dream with, to fight with and to cherish forever. Your's truly forever!

Characterizing Sita in Ramayana

The Hindu epic Ramayana describes the character of Ram as selfless, well mannered, devoted and disciplined character. He knows his responsibilities and put them ahead of his own life and personal duties. Being a King, he is owned by the Kingdom and his people first and his preference for his own life and family falls behind. Everyone familiar with the story knows how respected and holy he was who set an example of true Leader. However, it’s not him and his qualities this article discusses about but the prejudice his better half Sita had to suffer.

Born to a Royal family, she never knew what need or problem was. Being married to a Crown Prince, her life was blessed by the God himself. However, future had different things in store for her. When her husband was ordered exile from the Kingdom for fourteen years, she volunteered to join him as a devoted wife would do. Maybe that was a wrong decision she made that completely changed her life for worst. Had she stayed at the palace, she wouldn’t have ended up throwing herself alive into the lap of mother Earth.
While on exile, she was kidnapped by the Ravan, a powerful and villainous King of Demons. Her only mistake was crossing the Laxman Rekha that her brother-in-law had drawn around the house to keep her safe. Disobeying her brother-in-law Laxman’s request became the biggest mistake of her life. Everyone seem to see that mistake of hers and blame her for committing it without thinking about the reason for her doing so. She loved and worshipped her husband and the fear of losing him was so great that she did not give thought to how brave and unbeatable her husband was. No challenger could stand in front of him which is one reason why Ravan had to kidnap her by misleading and cheating them. She accused Laxman of loving her and trying to get his brother killed when he didn’t go for rescue of his brother in the forest (which wasn’t required after all). He drew the circle around the house and asked her never, under any circumstances, cross the line as he had cast spell in it for her safety. She, however, could not comply with his request as the Ravan in disguise of a Sage threatened to curse her husband if she didn’t bring the alms to where he was seated (away from the Laxman Rekha). It was because of the fear of her husband’s safety she crossed the line which is also interpreted as the Line of Honor for women in present day. When in the hour of fear, one happens to lose their sanity and could not think straight. It is perfectly understandable why she send Laxman after her husband when she heard a cry for help and also her crossing the line to give alms to the Sage. Her only mistake was to love her husband too much that the fear of him getting hurt took over her senses.

Despite of being held captive in a strange land surrounded and tortured by the Demons who threatened to kill her if she did not accept the offer made by Ravan, she fearlessly managed to keep her dignity and honor. Even the God of Fire (Agni Dev) could not burn her and she remained unhurt amidst the fire during her Agni Parikshya (Fire Test). However, all her love and devotion were forgotten at once when a fisherman questioned her honor.

She was left out alone in the middle of the forest with nothing to go on except her love and devotion towards her husband. Raising two sons on her own was difficult for the princess who never had to face any troubles before she accompanied her husband in his exile. She ended her life requesting the mother Earth to take her into her shelter, she went back to where she had come from.

We call Sita’s name before Ram for her devotion and pure love towards her husband. Except that she only faces prejudice for making one mistake in her life. And even today, the example of Sita is given to stop the females who want to cross their bounds of tradition, in search of their own identity. In the countries like Nepal which is rather based on traditional values, the belief still lies afresh that if a woman crosses the boundary of her house, she is certain to fail and cease to self-destruction. This is one of the major reasons why women are not allowed the freedom and equality that a man enjoys.

Acknowledging the Editor

Making a movie or a video is a tough job. It takes a lot of effort, time and money. We know people who give their all to bring out the best results like directors, actors, producers and also singers. However, we forget to acknowledge one person who makes the entire project presentable.

Almost all of us remember the name of the director and the producer of the movie but have we even given a thought to who the editor of the movie is? The person who cuts the unnecessary part, adds needed effects, compile the video in chronological order and makes the movie worth the watch, the editor, is usually left unacknowledged.

The raw footage brought in by the director is given into the capable hands of the editor. It is then his/her job to bring out the perfectly presentable movie as per the director and audiences' liking. From the very beginning till the end, a slightest of mistake by the editor could ruin the movie.

Although the director brings life to the movie, the editor hones its soul. It is them who make the movie presentable on the basis of effects, perfection in the flow, chemistry between the sound and video. Even the splits second delay could ruin the entire movie. The effects to be used at the perfect moment, the selection of the background score for the frame, every minute details that a normal viewer fails to detect should be perfectly attainted so that even the experienced observant cannot find flaw in the presentation.

From the moment the raw is handed over till the movie releases, it is the editor's job to do everything to make the movie best. Almost all of the post production phase revolves around them. They are to watch whether the frame will go smooth or there will be disturbance in the pixels while playing the movie in the big screen, designing the promo in a way that lures the audiences to the theatre. And sometimes, they even have to work out with the insufficient amount of footage for the video without repetition. This is where they get to show their magic. With what little footage they have, they bring out the best video without repeating the same scenes with the help of the special effects.

Despite their efforts and contribution, they usually are the ones who remain unknown to the audience like the cook in the kitchen of any restaurants/ hotels. Staying behind the scene and serving their best to the client. We remember the name of the place not the cook/chef similar to remembering the directors and actors. We only acknowledge them who we see not those behind the curtain. Hence, this article is dedication to all the video editors, who work hard so we, the audience, could enjoy the movie.

Next time we go for a movie, let's try to observe how much effort has been put in it by its editor and try to remember their names.

The Trend of SH

The trend of SH or short-hand writing means the way of shortening the words. Writing words in short forms, be it a universally accepted 'shortcuts' or individually created, the trend of using them is mushrooming day by day.

Initially, it was used by professionals, especially journalists while reporting for new, in order to save time. Writing in short hand helped then jot down more information in short period of time. It was also useful for saving the story from being copied as most of the people had their own short hand words which would be difficult for others to understand.

However, nowadays, it has become a common thing for everyone. Especially with the advent of internet, emails and cell phones, people tend to use short hand rather than complete words in order to save time and space. Moreover, the 'chatting' culture has played a vital role in promoting SH trend.

Most of the newspaper and magazines started using the universally or at least locally accepted shortcuts to save space. For eg., UNICEF, WHO, UNMIN, NRB, NEA, etc. Gradually, people started using shortcuts in their notes as well (govt. for Government, poplⁿ for population, etc.).

The internet and SMS system further promoted this culture and the trend of using only the initials of the words for two or more words (like TG for Thank God, TY for Thank You, TC for take care, WC for welcome, BTW for by the way and so on).

Be it professionals or non-professionals, we find all of them using short hands for communicating with others and most of the time, within their own circle. As most of the groups have their own SHs for some words, others might not understand it at first glance. Nevertheless, everyone using it at some point would gradually be able to understand that. No matter wherever you go, you could never get away with SH.

Stereotyping Women in Media

Women images, in media are always stereotyped. The roles they perform, the way they are presented are all traditional and had been the same way for decades now. Women are always prioritized for their physical beauty, sex appeal, submissive and suffering character. Be it advertorials or soap operas, women always are portrayed in their stereotype images.

Women in Advertorials

Despite women's pro-active movement and Code of Commercial Advertising on Doordarshan, the Code for Self Regulation and Code for Advertising Practice of the Advertising Standard Council of Pakistan and the Indecent Representative of Women (Prohibition) Act 1986, the fact remains that both Print and Electronic Media continue to portray stereotype images of women. They focus on sex appeal or physical beauty of women to sell a product. In spite of some good work being done by NGO's like Media Watch, Amnesty International and some select UN committees, the assessment of the content and portrayal of women by media have remained a neglected area of research and a matter meriting redress by the regulatory bodies.[1]

In most of the advertorials, Women are portrayed either as housewives obsessed with cleanliness, personal hygiene, fragrances and liking for products to keep home dirt and germ free or as a sex object focusing their physical beauty, well-set hair, perfect body shape and teeth, shining skin, etc. to sell products. Woman's beauty and bodily charm is used to sell cosmetics and physical fitness products.

Even the advertorials depict women as submissive characters and dependent on men for their rescue while most of the men in the advertisements are more masculine and strong and comparatively successful. Advertisements showcasing successful and competent women are lesser than the ones with housewives and beautiful bimbos. The ads that feature women in the lead and central role are the ones for kitchen and home appliances, sanitary, cosmetics, baby care, domestic help and detergents. Some ads also show women crying out for help unless a man comes to rescue. Such ads portraying man as strong and central character often promote products for man's use. The ads for cosmetic products show women obsessed with her physical beauty and trying to make her look beautiful in order to attract a man.

A study of women in advertisements shows that women's appearance in personal hygiene product adverts are seven times more than those of the adverts in other categories. Seventy five percent of all adverts portray women for products used in the bathroom or kitchen; fifty six percent of adverts portray women as domestic helps or housewives. While men are presented in forty three professions concerning their roles, women in comparison are presented in eighteens of them.[2]

Adverts, thus, stereotype women image portraying them as dedicated housewives or beauties in order to attract men.

Women in Soap Operas

Another stereotype entails depicting women as a wife or a mother or shy, submissive and suffering women or someone meant exclusively for home and in certain cases, another woman's enemy. This type of image is usually seen in the daily soaps. Women here are showcased as wife or mother or a daughter-in-law or a domestic help suffering through all the trouble for the sake of the family welfare, fighting with the evils, usually another woman portrayed as villain. Though she is attractive, she is home centered and contented. Although, the central character is given to the lady, the male characters are usually successful and often competent. No matter how competent the woman is shown in the soap at the beginning, as the series proceeds and she gets married, all women turn into the submissive and suffering housewives. All her, dreams and aims are shattered and she ends up having only one aim in life that is, to beget children and nurture her new family. Almost all of the prime time soap operas fall into this category. No matter how competent she was at the beginning, she ends up herself into middle of the domestic trouble.

The aim of each woman depicted there is to get married and beget children. These soaps are about companionship and relationship. In them relationship between women among themselves are important but not so important as between a woman and a man. The woman is left to serve the world inside her home while the outside world belongs to her husband or sons, similar to the traditional society. Most of the soap operas showcase traditional families with women busy in household chores and tensions and also are dressed in traditional attire, usually a sari covering their heads with a Pallu. Most of our prime television soaps fall in this category. Only few of the soap operas show women as competitive and working lady. However, a woman who pursues her career at the expense of her men-folk is shown to come to grief for her audacity and unnatural aspiration and also displayed as a failure. Any attempt on her part to challenge the accepted stereotype image of a woman whose success and achievement depend upon her working with men does not find favour with conventional audience. Hence, the soap operas, too, stereotype women's role.

Women in Film Industries

The film industry is not an exception. The actresses in the movies are usually the sufferers and waiting for their hero to come and rescue them. Old movies where the lady had a strong character were rare as woman stronger than a man was not acceptable in the society. However, few movies did break the stereotype. So far, the Western market has overcome the traditional pattern of portraying women however the Eastern film market still revolves around the same line with very few exceptions. Women still are weak and dependent over their father or their boyfriend/husbands. They usually are the easy target for the villains and it is the hero who rescues them. They are usually obsessed with their looks and make up. One of the best example is the Bollyhood movie Tees Mar Khan where Katrina Kaif's character is so much obsessed with being an actress and looking good that the only thing she does in the entire movie is make up and overacting. The actresses are either simple villager or a super glamorous city girl but always weak and dependent on a male.

Women as Media Professionals

Also, the media as a profession for women is more or less difficult. They are always left behind in terms of major decision making or control of the management. The important decision makers are usually men and also the major or the important role and responsibilities lies on their hands. Women are more often in front of the camera reading news or leading some programs. The presenters, as we see them, are beautiful ladies with perfect physical features. Women are judged not just by their talent but also their beauty and good looks in the media. Be it a mainstream media or other, women with good looks could be found dominating the cameras. Not just adverts and daily soap operas but also professional media outlets, broadcast stations prefer women with good looks and facial features than a plain one. In the media, women are judged more by their looks then their intellect. This, however, at present, is changing and we can see few women enjoying the important and decision making posts in the media houses.

Media, as a result, has not been doing justice to the role of women in society. However, for media to promote balanced and non-stereotype portrayal of women in their multiple roles, it is imperative that government, media, NGOs and private sector should come together and forge joint strategies to promote gender equality and gender justice. However this presupposes gender sensitivity among media owners and managers. In its new-found expansive role, media should foster a broad ethical content and moralizing impulse in the society so essential for the emergence of a civil society. Moreover for the society’s abiding benefit media must nurture and transmit humane values of civilization. They must take upon themselves the proactive role of a protector and a promoter of human rights, gender justice and democratic order. Thus, the stereotyping of the women in the media should be removed and they should be treated and characterized as equals and in their present status and role. However, in context of portraying women in a fair manner, Eastern media (especially Nepali) still has a long way to go.

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[1] http://www.paktribune.com/pforums/posts.php?t=3283&start=1

[2] http://www.paktribune.com/pforums/posts.php?t=3283&start=1